Date: January 6 to 8.
Time: 4:00 PM EST.
Stardate: 27509er.
Players: Andy, Tim, Figgs and Myself.
Location: Niagara Falls.
Temp: -15 (without windchill)
Wind Speed: 45 km/h
How fast is that in 'the states'? 2Fast
Seeing distance in blizzard: approx. 28cm
Max speed in blizzard: 15 m/h
Am I running out of facts about this trip? Yes

Basically, it was too cold to really do anything...seriously.
So, even more basically, we traveled five hours or so to be cold in a different country.
Before we crossed the border we ate the Red Garter Playhouse.
To give you an idea of how it was...
I believe as we walking by a table I heard Bill Gates complaining about the prices
and Donald Trump was spying for the manager so he could duck out without paying.

Come to the Red Garter Playhouse...bring money!

When we arrived at our hotel it was late. So we had to be quiet.


We ordered pizza. Tim clunked, yes clunked, out. Andy, Figgs and I lounged.





This is Sunny. If you don't know what to do in a sub-artic Niagara Falls he'll show you the closest strip club.

Since we are all too manly to sleep in the same bed as one another, I spent a sleepless night on the floor.
In the morning Andy and I made breakfast for everyone and we ventured out into the bitter, bitter cold.

Andy, Tim and Figgs.
I would like to point out that Figgs is, in reality, not that puffy.


To avoid frostbite, we went into a different store every 15 seconds.
We all bought scarfs, gloves and hats...which did nothing.

**Right about here we were standing around in the cold talking about how stupid we were for
standing around in the cold talking about how stupid we were. When, honest to god, we paused
and a tumbleweed blew past us. I hope you can understand how cool that is.**

Instead of waiting for Clint Eastwood, we went to the Skylon.



He was supposed to be leaning on it, but he is doing a piss poor job of it.

Inside was a bunch of stores and an arcade.
So we fished, played the keyboard and bowled.
Not just any bowling, Canadian bowling.


Here are some more things we did.












Sans girlfriends.


As you can almost clearly see, everything around the falls was frozen.
Any idiot could have told you that, but I'm not just any idiot now am I?
The mist freezes and stings like sleet. Then melts into water, like ice does,
and then refreezes on your jacket. Or in Figgs' case, hair.
I should probably clarify that Figgs was not wearing a hair jacket.
I meant that he was not wearing his newly bought hat.


That night, after losing Tim and then leaving Figgs in the room,
we went out for dinner and drinks. Although we had just bought food at a store.
And what started as two good friends having a few drinks, turned into...


Two good friends poking each other with plastic weapons.

I should point out that in the first picture Andy is, in fact, The Dude.

TJUI
Telling Jokes Under the Influence




The next morning after three breakfasts.
Andy, Figgs and I drove to The Falls.
Tim was still lost.


This is my favorite picture of the trip.
If you asked me why, I couldn't tell you.

I'm going to throw this picture in here beause I want to.

That's Mike aka Figgs.

The ride home was fun. I got shotgun.
We stopped at Anchor Bar, Tim's heaven.
They are the orginators of "Buffalo Wings"
and home to the ever famous Suicide Wings.


Then we stopped in Bradford, PA at the Zippo Co.
It was one of the coolest places I've ever been.
If you can, go. If you can't...go.

They had you find special Zippos. Andy found a white one.


Tim is not nearly as attractive as my girlfriend.
I would link you to the other Niagara post,
but it doesn't work at the moment.
I will, however, direct you to Tim's Deadjournal and Andy's Livejournal.

Twas a good and really fun trip. As usual.
Thanks Andy, Tim and Figgs go and taking me.
Thank you for reading.
Thank God I am done.


Yours,
Carlos A. Lamborn